Have you observed, even before people introduce themselves you, out of habit mentally scan their clothes, hand gestures, facial expressions, etc. Based on these you form a judgement; assume which way the meeting may go. Further, based on this speculation you play out your supposed behaviour to deal with the situation which has not yet taken place.

What do you think is at play? The human body is intelligent and communicates through non-verbal methods, commonly known as ‘The body language.’ Interestingly, according to the experts, non-verbal communication holds at least fifty five percent of the pie of the way humans communicate and that is huge. Non-verbal signals include body posture, gestures, facial expressions, auditory non-verbal communication such as tone, pitch, speed, pace of speech, volume, etc.

Considering non-verbal communication makes more than half of our communication, it needs awareness and importance. Moreso because we are interested in others’ body language, ignore our own and give away what is going on in our subconscious mind for others to read.

There is so much more to this. More than words, the intonation, volume, facial expressions, hand gestures and arm movements leave a mark on the listener’s mind and they recall these cues even after many days, months, or years of the conversation. For instance, when I work with people with childhood traumas let’s say stemming from an authoritative upbringing, the high volume of speech and finger pointing (Even if not literally) are triggers to shut down the mind and eventually go into a fight or flight mode. Even in the adult life. Nothing in this happens consciously. The subconscious interprets these signs as danger, shuts down the system to protect and stores it in its data base for future reference. Anytime, in the future when such a sign is received of a verbal volume or finger pointing hand gesture, the danger signal goes out. That is how the past associations continue to create triggers in the emotions through the body without any relevance to the now.

Another aspect of non-verbal unawareness is that we unknowingly give cues through our facial expressions, eye movements, tone, arm postures, etc about our thoughts and emotions which may not work in our favour. For instance, in an interview or selection scenario a participant slouching, folding hands, not looking directly into the eyes, folding arms or with chin down could be taken as underconfident or not well prepared.  In a burst of anger or scolding the receiver folds arms closer to the body, literally making himself/herself smaller than usual.

Another example is the way sportsmen celebrate victory especially in a team sport. Virat Kohli opens his arms high above in a ‘V’, punches air with his fist then raises his bat like a sword. Sending out non-verbal cues of power, determination, and self-motivation. Non-verbal cues can say things about the personality without much effort and yet change perceptions.

The concept of body language cannot be ignored. It should be studied in detail to be utilised to change ones own perception about self. Also, to cast a long-lasting impression on others. In the space of neuro linguistic programming, it is used to change the state or mental framework.  The ‘Modelling’ technique coaches the aspirant to identify the person he/she wants to emulate for self-motivation. The aspirant studies the body language of the hero/mentor and tries to get into that physical posture and mental zone. This done for a few minutes can change the hormonal levels to bring in the required mental state.

The body and mind are not separate and one impacts the other. Hence the body posture with open arms, soft yet assertive tone, direct eye contact, chin up, a wide smile, a namaste gesture, et al can help you change the way your feel about yourself and others’ perception of you. Of course, the body must talk a completely different language in situations of power struggles, real time negotiations, etc.

Whenever you find your self in situations which bring down your confidence levels just change your body language and see the situation change.

Find the light of intelligence within you.

This piece is well researched and inspired by Amy Cuddy. Do check her out on You Tube.