What is keeping us going? The perpetual goal to find happiness. A big achievement or a small moment of delight Life is programmed with the end result algorithms of success, peace of mind, abundant money, comfort and many such outputs. On the way, there are many ups and downs, which are part of the journey till we reach our goal. Once the goal is achieved, another is created and the process starts again.

The journey itself becomes bumpy, with hardships and difficulties. Later these become stories for us to applaud or reflect with self-empathy. The pain, despair, hopelessness is completely forgotten. Albeit only for that small pleasure of success.

We are run after pleasure to avoid the pain. The daily struggle is drowned in alcohol, binge watching or pleasing the senses. The desire to always succeed takes over. The mind is preprogramed to associate success with rewards. That’s how we find happiness in possessions such as binging on ice cream, buying new clothes, bigger car, etc.  resulting in a constant spiral of demands.

Desire per se is not the problem. In fact it enables us to enjoy life’s experiences, live for a better tomorrow, formulates the life path. However, when we get stuck in the desire-failure spiral we lose track of reality and venture on a never-ending pattern. We get stuck, chasing pain, flocked by desire.

To understand this better, brain stores fear, anxiety and such negative emotions along with positive emotions in the form of memories in the hippocampus. Amygdala on the other hand triggers the fight or flight mode to save us from potentially dangerous events or situations. This trigger is on an auto pilot mode. SO when amygdala gets triggered it falls upon hippocampus to bring out pleasurable memories. These are mostly stored in our subconscious mind as rewards such as chocolates, gifts or any other thing.  Mostly conditioned in the childhood and it creates desire to go back to a pleasurable experience again and again to avoid pain.

 Resistance or avoidance of anything creates more of it.  Pleasure gives a sense of security.  Repetition creates a habit. Habits are difficult to break as a vicious cycle of need-avoidance is in constant autopilot motions.  

This conflict is like a challenge to feed on.  Instead of finding ways to break this cycle, we find new ways to get entangled.

One of the ways to break this pattern is to evaluate desires from a dispassionate point of view. What will happen when you get them? Will the happiness be temporary or permanent? Is it long term or short term? Is the pattern being repeated? This will require will power, training the mind and repetition to build habits.

The way to find your unique answer is to look within and extract the truth. The light is always shining within all of us, all we need to do is, pause and ask.